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In today’s fast-paced world, maintaining a sense of emotional balance and well-being can feel like an uphill battle. However, emotional wellness doesn’t exist in a vacuum—it’s deeply interconnected with various aspects of our lives. This is where the concept of the  eight dimensions of wellness  comes into play. By addressing each dimension, we can create a foundation for emotional stability, resilience, and joy. What Are the Eight Dimensions of Wellness? The eight dimensions of wellness are a holistic framework designed to help individuals achieve overall well-being. These dimensions are: Physical Wellness : Taking care of your body through exercise, nutrition, and adequate rest. Emotional Wellness : Cultivating a positive mindset, coping effectively with stress, and expressing emotions in a healthy way. Social Wellness : Building supportive relationships and maintaining a sense of connection to others. Intellectual Wellness : Engaging in continuous learning and stimulating mental activities. Spiritual Wellness : Exploring purpose, meaning, and values that provide direction and inner peace. Occupational Wellness : Finding fulfillment and balance in your work or daily activities. Financial Wellness : Managing financial resources effectively to reduce stress and achieve goals. Environmental Wellness : Living in harmony with your surroundings by being mindful of your physical and natural environment. Each dimension is interconnected, meaning when one thrives, it can positively influence the others. Conversely, neglecting one can create imbalances that affect overall well-being. The Connection Between the Dimensions of Wellness and Emotional Wellness While emotional wellness is its own dimension, it is influenced by the state of the other seven dimensions. Let’s explore how each plays a role: Physical Wellness : When you feel good physically, you’re better equipped to manage stress and maintain a positive emotional state. A lack of physical care, like poor sleep or an unhealthy diet, can lead to fatigue and mood swings. Social Wellness : Positive, supportive relationships provide a safety net during tough times, enhancing your emotional resilience. Loneliness and isolation, on the other hand, can lead to emotional distress. Intellectual Wellness : Engaging in meaningful learning can boost self-esteem and reduce feelings of stagnation or frustration, fostering a sense of purpose and positivity. Spiritual Wellness : A strong sense of purpose and connection to something greater than oneself can provide emotional comfort and reduce feelings of anxiety and hopelessness. Occupational Wellness : Finding joy and balance in your work life can reduce burnout and contribute to emotional stability. Conversely, work-related stress can significantly impact your mood and overall outlook. Financial Wellness : Financial stress is a major contributor to anxiety. By managing finances wisely, you create a sense of security and peace of mind, positively impacting your emotional state. Environmental Wellness : A clean, organized, and safe living environment can reduce stress and promote relaxation, contributing to better emotional health. How to Use the Eight Dimensions to Enhance Emotional Wellness Evaluate Your Current State : Reflect on each dimension and identify areas where you feel strong and areas that need attention. For example, you may feel socially connected but struggle with financial stress. Set Small, Achievable Goals : Once you identify areas for growth, set realistic goals. For example, if physical wellness is a challenge, commit to walking for 15 minutes daily or drinking more water. Seek Balance, Not Perfection : Wellness is not about achieving perfection in all areas but striving for a balance that supports your overall well-being. Integrate Wellness into Daily Life : Make small, consistent efforts to address each dimension. For instance, schedule time for friends (social wellness), read a new book (intellectual wellness), or meditate (spiritual wellness). Prioritize Self-Compassion : Be kind to yourself as you work on improving these areas. Emotional wellness grows when you practice self-acceptance and patience. Conclusion The eight dimensions of wellness are a comprehensive guide to achieving a fulfilling and balanced life. By addressing each dimension, you nurture the foundation for emotional wellness, creating space for joy, resilience, and personal growth. Remember, emotional health is not an endpoint but an ongoing journey that thrives when supported by a holistic approach to wellness.

Anxiety is something that has touched all of us. Most of us have experienced anxiety in some way whether it was consistent worry that we would be called on in a class setting or we have some deep consistent fear that something would go wrong. If you are like me, you deal with anxiety everyday on some level. The thing about anxiety is it is totally normal. Without it we wouldn’t know when to go into fight mode or when we need to run in order to be safe. Dr. Nadine Burke Harris said it best is her eloquent Ted Talk on childhood trauma. Anxiety and fear are normal when you are in the forest with a bear. It is not normal when you are safe at home on your couch. When we are anxious in safe spaces it may be associated with past trauma stored in our body. It may also be associated with thoughts that we are unable to control. This month on Smith Behavioral Health and Wellness social media platforms we focused on ways we can manage anxiety. Mindfulness/meditation, journaling, managing thoughts, and last but not least exercise are all ways we can manage anxiety. Mindfulness and meditation help us to be in the moment, to know we are safe. Mindfulness requires us to be in the moment, to be present and intentional. When we can mindfully listen to a conversation or mindfully taste and our food or take in the smells around us our full attention is required which takes away from our ability to dwell in the past or the future. Mediation is similar in that it pulls us into the here and now to still our thoughts and control them. Meditation usually requires time that is set aside solely to focus on clearing our minds. Mindfulness can be practiced anywhere at any time. Journaling is a great way to get thoughts and feelings out so that they can be outside of us and or managed. When anxious thoughts and feelings arise journaling can be helpful in helping us get those feelings out and leave them where they are. When anxious thoughts and feelings remain in our heads and bodies and left to their own devices they can become overwhelming and life altering. Journaling is a way to get those thoughts and feelings out in a safe way to free up space for more positive thoughts and feelings. We might not always have access to family or friends, or therapists. Journaling can help us to separate ourselves from those thoughts and feelings and walk away from them. When we can get into a practice of journaling anxieties this can be a great way to control how we manage them and control them. Journaling doesn’t have to just be about anxiety. It can also be about random thoughts, things you are grateful for, things you would like to do and plan for. Journaling is a healthy way to cope with many things in life. Managing your thoughts can be difficult but it can be done. One way I manage my anxious thoughts is to deal with what I know. For example, I tend to have a lot of anxiety when I know my family members are traveling. My mind goes all over the place and the what ifs flood in and I tend to fixate on them. I often have to bring myself to the here and now and focus on what I know. I focus my thoughts on the last time I talked to them and at that time they were fine. Until I am told something different they are okay. Brené Brown says worrying and overthinking only steals your joy in the here and now, neither worrying or overthinking will prepare you IF the worst happened. The key word is IF. More times than not we are functioning as if the thing has already happened and it hasn’t so we can’t be fully present or fully feel any other emotion. Use that energy on what you know and stay in the moment. Lastly, exercise helps anxiety. Many of you knew that was coming but it does. Exercise often takes your mind off of what is making us anxious. It also relieves tension in our body that keeps us from being able to relax. This helps us to function better and sleep better. Exercise may be considered a natural anti-anxiety medication. Exercise intensity may yield different results. For example a high intensity interval training workout (HIIT workout) may tire you out while making you feel accomplished and release endorphins to make you completely mellow while a yoga workout may help you release endorphins or completely mellow you out or both. Working out consistently helps to provide some consistency in mood and allows a space to focus on something other than anxieties. Anxiety and uncertainty is real and many of us are feeling it especially as we endure COVID-19 and the new normal that will come as a result. We can manage our anxiety but it takes practice and effort. Mindfulness/meditation, journaling, dealing with what we know, and exercise are all ways we can manage anxiety and uncertainty even now. We just have to find a place to start and try. If anxiety is keeping you from being happy and living your best life please reach out to a mental health professional. Sometimes our anxiety can be so great that it is makes it hard for us to function on the daily. In situations like this medication may be recommended so that you can engage in the practices listed above. Anxiety doesn't have to be the reason you don't live a happy and full life. You can reach out to me through an inquiry on the website. You can also find a therapist through psychologytoday.com. You don’t have to struggle with anxiety on your own. A mental health professional can help and offer additional resources. Don’t let anxiety stand in the way of your wellness or happiness. Be Well, Be Happy!

Exercise, one of the greatest natural medications we have. It happens to be one of my favorite things to do for mental clarity and physical wellness. How much do we really use it though? When we go to the doctor our physician may suggest that we exercise to lose weight, lower blood pressure, manage diabetes, and to help with joint pain and flexibility to name a few. But what about mental health? How can exercise impact mental health? Exercise has proven to help mild to moderate depression. Simply running for 15 minutes a day or walking for an hour may reduce the symptoms of depression. Maintaining an exercise schedule can also prevent relapsing into depression and may also keep symptoms from being so intense. Exercise fights off depression in many ways. It creates changes in the brain that include neural growth, a reduction in inflammation, and activity patterns that enhance feelings of calm and well-being. Exercise also releases endorphins that make you feel energized and feel good overall. Lastly exercise provides an outlet, something to focus on other than the way you are feeling and negative experience(s). Exercise is a natural anti-anxiety-medication. Exercise relieves tension and stress that can affect us physiologically. It boosts physical and mental energy through the release of endorphins. Exercise is especially helpful in managing anxiety when you can add mindfulness. When you are able to be mindful of your breath, your steps, the music you are able to take your attention from what is making you anxious by bringing you back to the present moment instead of the things that may be worrying you. Exercise can relieve stress by helping you to release tension in your muscles. Muscles in your face, neck and shoulders may contribute to back and shoulder pain as well as headaches. Tightness in your chest, pounding pulse, and muscle cramps may also be indications of stress and tension. Insomnia, heartburn, stomachache, diarrhea, and frequent urination may also be indicators of stress and anxiety alike. Worrying about all of these things can lead to more stress which in turn can compound into a debilitating response. Exercise can change this cycle by creating endorphins and physical activity can help to release tension in the body. The mind and body are so intertwined. If you can feel relaxation in your body you most likely will be able to feel it in your mind even if for periods of time. Exercise provides you with more opportunities to be mindful which can help your nervous system to become unstuck in regards to trauma that has been experienced mentally, physically, and emotionally. Exercises that involve cross movement and that engage both arms and legs—such as walking (especially in sand), running, swimming, weight training, or dancing are very helpful. Other mental and emotional benefits of exercise include sharper memory and thinking, higher self-esteem, better sleep, more energy, and stronger resilience. All of this to say, JUST MOVE. It doesn’t matter what you do, just find something to do and do it. A few minutes a day is better than nothing at all. The key is starting. Maybe it looks like 5-10 minutes a day of engaging in some sort of exercise you enjoy and building on it. You may feel more comfortable at home or at the gym, You may benefit from an accountability partner, with a trainer, or your family. Working out isn’t always just about looking good. It is about feeling good, mentally, emotionally and physically. Be Well, Be Happy!

Healing… When I meet new clients for their first session (the intake session) I ask them what brings them to therapy at that time and what they would like to get from their time in therapy. Often the answer is to heal. To heal from trauma, from emotional pain, from bad news, from grief, from unrequited love, from loss of a loved one, from miscarriage, from family rifts, to name just a few. I often ask what they have already tried in their quest for healing and more times than not the answer is “I don’t know where to start.” I too have experienced the feeling of not knowing where to start in my own process of healing. Feeling a pain so deep and excruciating that you don’t know what to do can often leave you feeling empty, hopeless, and downright sad and exhausted. Sometimes the feeling can be debilitating. It can be so uncomfortable that we’ll do anything to rid ourselves of it. Sometimes the feelings are so intense we try to work them away. We immerse ourselves in people, schedules, and work to try to escape the feelings. We deflect. We cover it. We try to bury it only for the real feelings to never be dealt with or resolved. So how do we start to heal from difficult emotions? Below are a few things I share with my clients and myself. Be Still. Sometimes we are so focused on trying not to feel so we get as busy as we can. I read something once that said “Feeling the need to be busy all the time is a trauma response and fear-based distraction from what you’d be forced to acknowledge and feel if you slowed down.” How many of us identify with that? I feel pain, let's find more work to do. Let's call friends and socialize it away. What I often find from sitting with clients is that these behaviors are not sustainable and over time the real feelings start to surface. Our efforts to escape them don’t work anymore and we feel like you are not in control of your feelings. Being still gives us the opportunity to actually feel. Try to be still enough to allow yourself to feel even if it is for small amounts of time. Acknowledge the Feeling. Once we are able to be still we can acknowledge the feeling, name it, and admit to ourselves that it is in fact a feeling that we have. This one is hard for a lot of us. For some of us it would take the jaws of life to pry our mouths open to physically say I am sad, my feelings are hurt, or even admit feeling emotional pain. It makes us vulnerable and vulnerability is often something we try to escape. Allowing yourself to feel uncomfortable emotions is difficult enough. Allowing yourself to acknowledge feelings is part of healing. We can’t heal what we don’t acknowledge. Feel. What does it feel like? I can hear you saying, “What do you think it feels like?” It doesn’t feel good I know. Feeling difficult feelings is hard. In my own experience I have described it as lying on the ground exhausted from trying to be strong while being punched in the gut with no energy to punch back. A difficult image indeed. You may be able to identify with that image. You may have an image of your own. It may be helpful to describe the feeling. Talk about it with someone you know and trust, a friend, family member, or therapist. Maybe you journal about the feeling. Perhaps art is your outlet and you write a song or a poem, create a drawing or painting. Allow yourself to feel the emotion and find healthy ways to get it out. Understand that Healing Isn’t Linear. There are days that you may feel great and you can tackle the world. Other days you may feel like the feeling is taking over and you can’t stop thinking about the thing(s) that caused you pain. Some days it creeps up on you and you don’t know why you’re crying or why you feel so angry. Yeah healing is not pretty or pleasant but when we allow ourselves to feel emotions this may happen. Understand that being okay one day(s) and not being okay the next day(s) is part of healing. Also understand that patience, grace, and self-compassion, are so very important in the process of healing. Allow the feelings to come when they come and allow them to go when they need to go. Healing Has No Specific TimeFrame. Many clients come into my office saying, “This happened so long ago. I should be over it by now.” There is no grace or self-compassion in that statement. Healing is a process that at times we wish would end but we can’t turn on or off. We can’t speed it up or slow it down. It just is. We have to go through it to understand it and figure out where it fits in our lives. Allow yourself to let it come when it comes and do what you need to do to understand the feelings, work through them, and let it go. If you had a close friend or family member that was dealing with a difficult emotion and working through the healing process, what would you tell them in regards to their healing process? My hope is that you would offer words of love and encouragement. Tell yourself those things as you work toward healing. Always remember to treat yourself like someone you love at all times. Choosing to heal is hard. Doing what you need to do to heal can be challenging. The process of healing is a courageous act. To allow yourself to face difficult emotions instead of mask them and dismiss them is such a brave act indeed. This process may be difficult to do alone. Maybe you don’t feel comfortable speaking to family or friends about those feelings. If this is the case a therapist, a third party who is nonjudgmental, doesn’t know you personally, and is bound by law to keep your information confidential may be helpful for you in your time of healing to listen to your story with new and fresh ears and offer some guidance in your process of healing. You don’t have to suffer in sadness and pain alone. I hope that you choose healing. While it is a process it is the way to being well and being happy which is my wish for each and every one of you in this life thing we’re doing. Love and light to everyone who this touches. Always remember to be well and be happy. ❤️💫

Licensed psychotherapists (mental/behavioral health therapists, counselors) have an extensive educational background. Licensed psychotherapists must undergo at least six years of formal education.  A four year college degree and at least two years of graduate school is required. Graduate work is concentrated on counseling. Graduate school typically includes at least two years or more of internship placements to gain supervised practical experience. After earning a masters or doctorate degree, at least two years of supervised clinical work establishes eligibility to take the licensing exam which consists of intensive tests and varies from state to state.  After successfully passing the examinations and being approved by the state licensing board the therapist then becomes licensed in the state in which they completed exams and applied for licensure. In addition to becoming licensed the therapist must stay up to date with any continuing education to maintain a valid license. Psychotherapists are trained to focus on long term and short term goals and seek to help clients work through and understand their thoughts, moods, and behaviors. Psychotherapists often specialize in working with various challenges including trauma, grief, depression, anxiety, bipolar disorder, and schizophrenia to name a few. Psychotherapists use different approaches to address various challenges using interventions rooted in theories that have been considered evidenced based treatments for various challenges.  Psychotherapists help clients to dissect a challenge and assist them in navigating solutions in addition to creating coping skills as the client explores solutions. Life coaches must obtain a certification through an accredited program. A certification is not required to be a life coach, but it is greatly encouraged. There are no degree requirements to be a life coach.  The main role of a life coach is to motivate, offer emotional support, and create confidence as it applies to the various challenges the client presents. Life coaches may focus on creating a new life path to achieve goals as well as holding clients accountable for those goals. Psychotherapists and life coaches alike are most concerned with helping clients be the best they can be but the ways they go about helping clients manifest strengths are different.  Hopefully this clears up any questions you may have about the differences between psychotherapy and life coaching. If you are still questioning which is best for you don’t hesitate to message me at jessicasmith@smithbhw.com. Remember to always to Be Well and Be Happy

It’s crazy to think we are ending a decade tonight. I don’t know about you but the words of my parents come to mind and ring true “Time flies, it waits for no one.” Ten years ago I had just started a doctoral program, entered into a relationship that would last for half of the decade, and had just quit an awesome job to be a full time student. I look back at that time and think to myself how far we have come. Ten years sounds like a lot of time but in reality it is a fraction of time in our lives.  When I look back at the past 10 years I can recall the main events like school, relationships, trips, hurts, and challenges but it's kind of hard to recall the stuff in between. As we enter into the next decade and the year of perfect vision I challenge you to think of ways you can live your vision of life with more clarity. One way I think we do this is to practice mindfulness. Slowing down and actually being in the moment, taking the time to be still and take things in with our senses helps us to be present and allow the moment to be imprinted in our minds.  I also challenge you to think about your intentions for the next year and decade. Intentions give us direction and help us to plan for what we want to be, do, or have. Without intentions we tend to react to life and circumstances. When our intentions are clear we can easily decipher what of the interactions around us are serving us and those that are not. Intentions are about how we want to feel. I hope your year of perfect vision is a year of clarity, intent, growth, learning through challenges, laughter, and mindfulness. Make sure to make time for the moments in between the big moments. I learned the importance of those moments on a solo trip to Boston this year. I did some pretty cool things while I was there but walking past the pond in Boston Public Garden, remembering how the air smelled, the image of the couples taking pictures on the bridge stands out to me the most. Allowing myself to be in the moment gave me a new appreciation for the garden.  I like to think that if we take time for the in between moments we will have more of an appreciation for life. From Smith Behavioral Health and Wellness LLC I wish you a wonderful and prosperous year of perfect vision.  May you do things to make your vision of your life clearer and happier. I wish many blessings for you in this next decade. It has been an awesome pleasure to serve clients near and far. I look forward to being able to serve you in 2020. Always remember it is your responsibility to figure out how to be well and be happy. Blessings for exactly that in the upcoming year. Happy New Year!!!

My family, particularly my sister and I, are deep into the Enneagram.  We recently found out that my mother, father, her, and myself are all twos on the Enneagram. It’s hilarious to me how we all play out our helper personalities. If you are not familiar with the Enneagram, twos are considered “The Helper”.  They are always giving to others. Recently my sister and I had a conversation about boundaries and how difficult they can be to implement at times with our wanting to always help others. It really got me thinking about how boundaries are so important in our lives. So what are boundaries? Webster’s Dictionary describes  boundaries as “limits that define acceptable behavior.” We all have limits right?  We have limits on how much we stay in the sun. We have limits on how much we eat.  We have limits on how much we spend. What about limits in our relationships? Boundaries in our relationships can show others how we want to be treated.  How many of us have tried to get sassy with our mother’s and they say “you will not talk to me that way?” Am I the only one who’s mother reacts that way? That is a boundary in which your mother is teaching you how to treat her. Boundaries also protect us. Without some limits we may experience burnout in our jobs, we may experience burnout in our relationships, and in general.  I wasn’t always good with boundaries for two main reasons. 1. I didn’t want to feel like I was hurting someone’s feelings. 2. I had a fear of missing out at times. There were times in my life where I would continue to entertain relationships that were not helpful or positive because I didn’t want to feel like I was hurting the other person’s feelings. There were times I stayed at a job because I didn’t want to leave someone hanging but in turn I suffered. I can recall many times where lack of boundaries hurt me and the presence of boundaries have helped me. I can also recall how boundaries helped me particularly when I was going through difficult times in my life.  So how do we set healthy boundaries to be the best person we can be to ourselves and those around us? Below are 10 ways we can use our voice to set healthy boundaries. ~Clearly identify the boundary. Make sure the boundary it clear and easy to understand.  Be specific and clear. ~Understand why you need the boundary. When we can understand why we need the boundary it can help us with clearly identifying and explaining it to someone else. ~Be straightforward. Be direct in your explanation if the boundary. ~Don’t apologize or give long explanations as to why you set the boundary. The boundary is something you need for you. Don’t apologize for taking care of you. ~Use a calm and polite tone when setting the boundary. Boundaries don’t have to be negative or uncomfortable to establish.  Share the information in a tone that you would want someone to use with you. ~Start with tighter boundaries (and loosen up if appropriate). Boundaries can always be adjusted. ~Address violations of the boundary early.  Don’t wait for it to become a pattern. One of the worst things we can do is allow the boundary violation to become consistent before we address it. The earlier we address the boundary violation, the more likely we are to be able to conserve the relationship and stay on the right track. ~Don’t make it personal. Boundaries are just what they are...boundaries. Don’t make it personal.  I must add, just because a person creates a boundary with you doesn’t mean you are a bad person or anything is wrong with you. They need the boundary for them for whatever reason and that is okay. ~Use your support system to talk out your need for the boundary. Talk to your village about the boundaries you need and why.  Use them as a listening ear and sounding board. ~Trust your intuition. If you feel like you need to establish a boundary but you are unsure, chances are you probably need to establish the boundary. Boundaries can be essential in reducing feelings of stress, anxiety, and sadness.  In addition they keep us safe emotionally, mentally, and physically. I encourage you to think about ways you can implement healthy boundaries to live a better life today and always... Be well, Be happy.📷

If you are on social media you have probably done it.  I know I have. You lay in bed scrolling through Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter simultaneously and you see your Facebook friends celebrating their successes. You see new jobs, engagements, marriages, children, new homes, family moments, new businesses, exciting trips, etc, etc and you think, “What am I doing with my life?”  You might feel yourself becoming jealous or envious. You may start to feel sad or inadequate. You may ask yourself why you aren’t able to have the things they have. You may even feel like something is wrong with you in that you don’t have the things you want and everyone else seems to be happy. Welcome to comparison culture. The world of social media has ushered in another way for us to keep up with the Jones’. We have another way to measure where we rank in society, a way to determine if and how we are progressing in life. We have another way to heap shame on ourselves as if we needed anymore.  Can you identify? I hope my hand is not the only one raised. But have you ever been motivated by what you see on social media? (Insert hand raise). There are times when social media may be a motivator.  I have been extremely motivated by the people on my timelines and news feeds. A great example of this is a woman I went to high school with who is now a successful lawyer in Atlanta. I was in my high school band with this particular woman. We became Facebook friends and I would see her posts from time to time.  She would share aspects of her life like most of us. One day she shared an interview that she did in regards to leaving her job and starting her own law firm. She shared her progress and her excitement. I was inspired. I too had been thinking about how I wanted to go out on my own but I was scared. I was unhappy with my job at the time and I was super inspired by this lady boss who was making things happen. I was so moved by her story I messaged her and told her how inspired I was.  She responded by encouraging me. I was thankful and grateful for her kind words. In this case seeing someone on social media from my hometown successful and sharing her success encouraged me and I took it as motivation. A few years later I started my business with her words in mind. This is an example of how social media can be a motivator. But what about when you see someone’s success and you compare it to your own life and feel like you should be in a better place than where you are?  I have also had this response. Maybe you start to feel sad or maybe it’s something you have been wanting for a long time and you feel bad that someone else is doing it and you haven’t. This is where social media contributes to comparison culture and can become toxic. I remember when I was in my doctoral program I was seeing everyone start families and buy homes.  I immediately started to think, “What in the world am I doing with my life? I have been in school all of my life and everyone else is going on with their lives?” When we start to base our worth off of what others are doing or have done it can lead to depression and anxiety. Comparison culture is based out of insecurity. Someone got engaged and you have been wanting to be engaged so you become jealous, bitter, or angry.  Someone bought a house and all of a sudden you start to find yourself putting them down “They probably had help.” “Their mother probably gave them the money.” “How can they afford a house?” Ever find yourself saying those things or something similar? Comparison culture is toxic. It can bring out the biggest insecurities and make people show their ugliest sides. More importantly, it only keeps us stuck, feeling inadequate, and less than those around us. So how do we continue to utilize social media and avoid comparing? 1. Check your insecurities What are the things you are most insecure about? Does social media trigger your insecurities? Maybe you are insecure about not having a certain type of job or career. You get on Instagram or Facebook and you see that people are happy with their jobs and careers. Do you get discouraged or do you get encouraged and maybe reach out to see if they can offer some words of encouragement and direction. We all have insecurities.  It is what we do with them that matters the most and in turn impacts us the most. 2. Realize that behind every success is a story. More times than not that engagement, marriage, home, career, child, etc has a story behind it. Often times we don’t disclose the struggle and the stress behind the success. Who wants to know about that stuff?!  The challenge and stress is probably something most people don’t wish to recall. Oh but how we jump to share the good, the success, the miracles because that is what we have hoped for and what we want people to know. But little do we know a heartbreak, a denied loan, a job application denied, a child difficult to conceive came before the Facebook posts and pics we see. We never know the whole story. 3. Have gratitude for the good in your life. Resist the lies that it’s not enough. This. Right. Here.  While we are out here comparing ourselves, there is some good to acknowledge in our current situations. I know it can be hard.  I have been there myself. Despite how bad you might be hurting, there is good in your life somewhere. Focus on the good while simultaneously figuring out where you would like to improve and make a plan. 4. Let what you see be a motivator. Be encouraged by what you see.  The fact that someone else is doing it means it can be done.  Does it mean it won’t happen for you? No one knows until you try. Maybe you have been trying and it hasn’t been happening. This is super difficult and hurtful.  Despite the hardship there are still good things you can be happy about. How are you going to proceed in happiness while pursuing your desires? 5. See a therapist. I don’t say this because I am a therapist although I may be a little biased lol.  I say this because we are all affected by comparison culture. Sometimes we see things that trigger us and we start to feed ourselves narratives that are not true and that keep us from progressing.  Maybe we already had beliefs and feelings about ourselves based off of our past and to see things on social media only perpetuates those beliefs and feelings. To see a therapist, a third party who is unbiased, can help you to better understand those thoughts and feelings and in turn work through them so they don’t hinder your progress. 6. Take a social media break. Who said we had to be on social media anyway?!?!  I know several people who are not on social media for the pure and simple fact that they don’t want to be.  I must admit that these people are more peaceful and present. Sometimes you just need a break. You need a break to be more focused and more present.  Maybe you take the apps off our phone or you disconnect all together. You might be surprised at how much your screen time goes down. At the end of the day your life is your life.  As much as we might not want to hear it, what is for you is for you. Live YOUR life not based off of anyone else’s because your life is unique. If there are things that you want, figure out how to get them and align yourself with those things.  Lastly, in everything always strive to be well, and be happy.

If you think like me, your idea of self care is sitting by a blue ocean, listening to the waves and admiring the warm sun on your face. The harsh reality... I don't live anywhere close to the ocean. While sitting by the ocean is a wonderful way to implement self care it may not always be possible. Self care may be considered more than a vacation or a nice dinner. Self care is the way you care for yourself mentally, emotionally, spiritually, and physically on a daily basis. It may range from a few minutes of quiet alone time in your day to a meditation class. Self care is what you need to do for yourself to be okay but in order to know what you need you have to take to the time to be mindful of your needs. Sometimes we are so busy we don't take the time to slow down and really understand what we need. Below are a few tips for self care. 1. Guard your time. When we are busy we tend to be on autopilot. Guard time to dedicate to yourself and ways that you can take care of yourself. (i.e. make time to workout, make time to each lunch, etc.) 2. Move. Exercise releases good chemicals to make us feel good. 3. Be still. Make time to still your mind and your body. Make time to rest. 4. Assess your relationships. Sometimes the relationships we are investing in can be bringing us down. 5. Enjoy Yourself. Make sure you are making time to have fun. Plan a vacation. Enjoy time with friends. Take yourself to dinner. Find ways to enjoy life. Be well, be happy.

How are you doing with your 2019 goals so far? Hopefully you are just as excited about them as you were when you wrote them down a few weeks ago. Maybe you find yourself less interested and sluggish in working toward your short term and long term goals. You aren't alone. Sometimes we become uninterested and complacent. That is a normal part of life. The key is redirecting ourselves back to the plan when we veer off of the path. This may feel daunting or difficult but there are simple, small things we can do to get back on track. 1. Get an accountability partner. Identify someone you know trust and respect to hold you accountable for your goals. This will be most helpful when you get off track. 2. Think about small things you can do daily to work toward the goal. Identify what you can do daily to work toward your goal and incorporate it into your day. 3. Guard your time. Your goals deserve your time. When working to accomplish your goals remember that anything important to you is worth your time so make time for it. 4. Remember your why. Think about why you set the goal in the first place and lean into your why as your motivation to accomplish it. 5. You are worth it. You do a lot of things you don't want to do. You owe it to yourself to do the things you want to do to be better for yourself. Don't give up on yourself. Push through and accomplish the goal. Cheers to accomplishing your goals and living your best life in the process. #BeWellBeHappy

We will soon end 2018 and roll into another year. It is at this time of year most people adopt New Years Resolutions to implement some change or challenge in the upcoming year. A new year symbolizes a new start and what better time to change things up than when its time to start a new chapter right? The thing with resolutions are we often don't keep them for long. We start out saving money, going to the gym, and even eating healthier but after about a month, sometimes more we struggle to keep up and often fall back into our old ways. My personal explanation we do this because we often have a shallow desire to change and the fact that it is a new year makes us feel good about starting fresh. But it takes so much more than a desire and the right timing to really make a significant change that is lasting. Maybe the the best way to implement change as we go into the new year is to assess ways in which we want to be better and really think about why those things are important to us. Prioritize our desires and then implement SMART goals to accomplish them. SMART goals is an acronym I use to break down the criteria for goals. Goals should be Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Realistic, and Timely. When we can get specific and realistic about what we are wanting to accomplish we are more likely to accomplish what we set out to do. As we prepare to end the year I leave you with 3 questions to ponder taken from Life Coach, Marie Forleo. -One thing you did this year that you're proud of. -One mistake you made and the lesson you've learned. -One limiting story you're ready to let go of before 2019. -One mistake you made and the lesson you've learned. My hope for you in this upcoming year is that you find ways to choose yourself. Choose your health, choose your mental health, choose your joy and happiness. Choose your passion, your craft. Be relentless in your choice and be the best person you can be. Most of all be well, be happy.

The holidays can be a joyous and happy time for many people. Families are often gathering to celebrate the holiday with food and gifts. There are lights and Christmas carols all around. The holidays are associated with good and happy thoughts for many. But for some people the holidays are not as joyous. For some the holidays bring about pain and sadness. This may be due to loss. People may grieve their loved ones at this time of year and what used to be happy and fun family gatherings have turned into painful and grief stricken reminders of the voids in our lives. People may grieve loss of relationships during the holidays and feel the pain of loneliness more so than togetherness. Sadness and anxiety around the holidays is not uncommon. Whether it be a loss, loneliness, or even being down on your luck at the holidays, holiday sadness is real and finding ways to work through the sadness in important. You may ask what are some ways I can work through the holiday blues. 1. Get outside of yourself. Volunteer at your local soup kitchen or Salvation Army. 2. Identify those around you that you can connect with. It may not be your blood family but someone in your network of friends or acquaintances. 3. Speak with a therapist. While it may seem that talking to someone may not be helpful. Therapists are there to help you see all of the perspectives that you could be missing. 4. Consider making amends with those people in your life that are distant. 5. Find a happy way to commemorate the loved one you that is absent and do it every year. When we work through what pains us the outcome can be much sweeter. Choose Happiness. Happy Holidays from Smith Behavioral Health and Wellness #holidaysadness #grief #depression #lonelienss #bewellbehappy